This blog will mean a whole lot to teachers or former teachers, maybe even spouses of teachers or just those who are keeping track of where education is heading in the U.S.
So I start this blog with three words: I am tired! Now this blog will sound like a whole lot of bellyaching - and well ........ it is!
I have only been teaching for 17 years. I know teachers who are on their 25th or 30th or even 40th year of teaching. To be quite blunt - I don't know how! 17 years and I am burnt out, and I am TIRED!
This blog has two aspects - why I am tired, and how the joy of teaching has gone with the wind. (hehe, a little humor there.)
I'm tired and the joy is gone because: (ooohhh - there is the cause and effect I have been pounding into my students' pointy little heads for weeks!)
1. Getting absolutely no respect from the general public. This includes our new Superintendant of Education of the great State of Oklahoma. The lady who we call "Superindentist" because she is NOT a teacher, never has been, she is a dentist who had the money to start a charter school. She has become known in Washington D.C. because she has done so much damage to education in Ok that Washington D.C. refused to give Oklahoma money from Pres. Obama's Race to the Top. Now that is unacceptable.
2. The taunts and name calling and degrading of us by the State Board of Education of Oklahoma who went around the room and called us names, degraded us, said we were whiners, we were 47th in the nation, and told us to SHUT UP in front of TV stations and reporters. We are 47th IN FUNDING. Not in academic success. DUH! We are way at the top in that area.
3. The focus on testing, testing, testing and more testing. (more on that later - may have to get the fire extinguisher out for that).
4. The 10 - 12 hour days AT SCHOOL, and then hours more at home grading papers, making lesson plans, putting grades on line, etc. etc. etc. I added my hours up one year - I had more hours for a year than most executives of big companies. It averaged about 60 hours a week.
5. Parents who don't value education enough to get their kids to school. Pull your child out to dress up and entertain at a nursing home. Pull your child out while you go on a cruise for a week (and yes, this has happened over and over). Pull your child out so you can visit relatives in Guatmala for 6 weeks, or Mexico, or ...... Celebrate whatever day they can think up - birthdays, oreo cookie day, the sun is shining day, and on and on. Kid doesn't want to go to school so mommie or daddy say, well, just stay home today. Missing a state test because the parents go somewhere - which then reflects on the test scores! GRRRRR I have to stop - but you can see that the excuses go on and on and on.
6. Feeling like everything I teach or do in the classroom is under a microscope like a BUG! Walking on eggshells hoping I don't do something wrong and get written up, or have a parent go bonkers on me, and on and on. Always looking over my shoulder, making sure I am teaching according to the 50 or so rules handed to us by the state and district.
7. Having no input into many things - right now it is the supply list. One size does not fit all. My coteacher and I have fought that for years. Lots on the supply list we don't use - just costs parents money they don't have. We wind up buying the supplies we do need out of our own pockets. AND IT IS GETTING EXPENSIVE. AND we send the supplies we don't use back home. SAD!
8. No half day planning. We rarely get a day without students so we can just plan, or catch up on grading, or sort, clean and purge our "stuff". We used to. It was heaven to me. As soon as those kids walked out the door at noon, my partner and I began planning. We got lots of weeks planned, got papers copied, got grades done, and on and on. But because some teachers decided to skip that day and go shopping - they were reported by irate citizens, and now our planning days are history. So the sins of a few make all the rest of us suffer.
9. AND ABOVE ALL ELSE - having my entire year of teaching boil down to test grades. If they aren't high enough - God forbid - there is hell to pay - trust me on that one. If a student doesn't test well and gets a low score - blame the teacher. If a student gets so stressed, they freeze - the score will be our fault. If they haven't gotten a good night sleep because parents aren't parenting - low score - blame the teacher. You get the drift - because I could go on and on. It is by far, the most discouraging aspect of teaching. The stress of that has caused many teachers to become physically sick! It has caused students to HATE school. Come standardized test day I have seen students put their head down on their desk and sob. I've seen them throw up. I've seen them totally freeze - deer in the head lights look.
OK - I see that this blog will never, ever have an end. I want the joy back! I want to take 20 minutes or 10 minutes and let the kids explore what they are learning. I want to have time for more hands on learning. I want to throw away the 2 grades per week per subject required, and let kids actually learn and be assessed on what they learned. I want to say - you kids worked so hard for me today, lets take a break and play a game for 10 minutes. Or do a puzzle. Or have an extra recess. Or let them just draw. Nope!!!!! Gotta keep on pushing!
So saying - I LOVE teaching with my whole heart and soul. I chose to do this regardless of the long hours and low pay. I love hearing a student say, "Mrs. B., I love your class. It is so much fun and we learn so much more than in other grades."
BUT I am tired!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Chapter 3 of My Journey
Don't know what happened, but this post disappeared and reappeared. During that time, I was able to read more letters and get more details and dates which I will add. Thanks for reading!
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Continuing the saga and love story of my parents. I finally found all the letters from March of 1942 until December of 1945. Way more than I thought. My project this weekend is to sort them into years.
After my parents met in person on December of 1942, the tone of the letters begins to change slowly. It makes me giggle to see daddy going from signing his letter very formally with first and last name and rank. Then it becomes - Levi. Then it becomes - Always, Levi. By the time he was shipped overseas about July of 1943, they were madly in love. From letters over 8 months and one meeting - they fell in love! My dad was quite the romantic letter writer which kind of fits as we knew him. He and mom held hands everywhere they went until they were separated by Alzheimers and nursing home. Mom also sat on his lap in the easy chair from time to time. We kids knew what real love was.
As far as I can tell without reading the hundreds of letters, my parents only saw each other one time before daddy was shipped over seas. Dad's letters are romantic but he hated the censorship. He said that every letter had to be read first and censored and that it bothered him a whole lot to have someone else read his love letters before my mom did.
Since it will take me a long time - months or a year - to read all of the letters, I will finish chapter 3 from my memory.
If I remember correctly, my parents saw each other twice more when dad came to the US on furlough. On one of his furloughs, they decided to take a long walk. They found a really nice place to sit and rest, under a big huge tree. The area was beautiful according to my mom, with lots of trees and grass. There, my dad proposed. When he proposed, daddy told mom that he guessed they would have plenty of privacy because he knew that the people around him wouldn't be bothering him. Mom looked at him like he was nuts because there wasn't a soul in sight. Then she started looking around at their surroundings. My dad had proposed to mom in an old GRAVEYARD! They both started laughing and she then said yes.
After he went back to Ireland, they continued to write. They wrote letters from March of 1942 to November of 1945. Three and a half years of letters. According to daddy's letters, his orders to come home were cancelled 3 times. They would get their hopes up, and then his travel orders would be cancelled. His last letter to mom was November 30. He was coming in on the Queen Mary, leaving England on Dec. 9. Dad told us kids that when their ship entered New York harbor, it was a wonder the boat didn't tip to one side. When the soldiers saw the Statue of Liberty, every soldier on the boat ran to that side of the ship to gaze at her. Makes me have goosebumps.
Daddy got to Pennsylvania on December 18. Mom and family picked him up at the train station, then they went on back to my grandparents home. Daddy stayed with his cousin while he was there. Mom and dad hadn't even set a firm date because they weren't sure when dad would get home. So my mom organized a wedding in about 12 days - set the date, got her dress, the photographer, the flowers, the church, the cake all in that time. 12 days - amazing! Daddy got a new suit and mom said he looked very handsome in it. Their wedding rehearsal was on New Years Day in the afternoon!
On the day of the wedding, January 2, 1946, my dad was a little late to his own wedding. He and his cousin were driving to the church from a neighboring town. The roads were icy and nearly impassable. They had to creep along so they wouldn't slide in a ditch. He made it, they got married and spent the first night with mom's sister and husband. Her sister, Elsie and husband, Al, put crackers in mom and dad's bed the first night!!!
As far as I can remember , my parents saw each other only 3 times before they got married. That is how powerful letter writing was back then.
And from that love story came us three kids, a move to Oklahoma briefly, New Mexico even more briefly and then to Fowler, Kansas where they lived for 53 years. On their 50th wedding anniversary, they renewed their vows - and there wasn't a dry eye in the church.
Rest in peace mom and daddy - I miss you every day.
P.S. I just found a pricelss letter. My grandma F. in PA wrote to my OK grandma the day after mom and dad got married. Ok foks couldn't come because of the distance and dead of winter. Grandma F told my OK grandma a little about the wedding but wanted mom and dad to share most of it. Grandma F told OK grandma that they all loved Levi (my dad) and hoped that they would love June. Grandma F says that June is kind of timid but she thinks the OK family will love her as much as they love Levi. Oh My goodness, what a treasure! In the letter, Grandma F. of PA talked about how they got mom and dad together!
*********************************
Continuing the saga and love story of my parents. I finally found all the letters from March of 1942 until December of 1945. Way more than I thought. My project this weekend is to sort them into years.
After my parents met in person on December of 1942, the tone of the letters begins to change slowly. It makes me giggle to see daddy going from signing his letter very formally with first and last name and rank. Then it becomes - Levi. Then it becomes - Always, Levi. By the time he was shipped overseas about July of 1943, they were madly in love. From letters over 8 months and one meeting - they fell in love! My dad was quite the romantic letter writer which kind of fits as we knew him. He and mom held hands everywhere they went until they were separated by Alzheimers and nursing home. Mom also sat on his lap in the easy chair from time to time. We kids knew what real love was.
As far as I can tell without reading the hundreds of letters, my parents only saw each other one time before daddy was shipped over seas. Dad's letters are romantic but he hated the censorship. He said that every letter had to be read first and censored and that it bothered him a whole lot to have someone else read his love letters before my mom did.
Since it will take me a long time - months or a year - to read all of the letters, I will finish chapter 3 from my memory.
If I remember correctly, my parents saw each other twice more when dad came to the US on furlough. On one of his furloughs, they decided to take a long walk. They found a really nice place to sit and rest, under a big huge tree. The area was beautiful according to my mom, with lots of trees and grass. There, my dad proposed. When he proposed, daddy told mom that he guessed they would have plenty of privacy because he knew that the people around him wouldn't be bothering him. Mom looked at him like he was nuts because there wasn't a soul in sight. Then she started looking around at their surroundings. My dad had proposed to mom in an old GRAVEYARD! They both started laughing and she then said yes.
After he went back to Ireland, they continued to write. They wrote letters from March of 1942 to November of 1945. Three and a half years of letters. According to daddy's letters, his orders to come home were cancelled 3 times. They would get their hopes up, and then his travel orders would be cancelled. His last letter to mom was November 30. He was coming in on the Queen Mary, leaving England on Dec. 9. Dad told us kids that when their ship entered New York harbor, it was a wonder the boat didn't tip to one side. When the soldiers saw the Statue of Liberty, every soldier on the boat ran to that side of the ship to gaze at her. Makes me have goosebumps.
Daddy got to Pennsylvania on December 18. Mom and family picked him up at the train station, then they went on back to my grandparents home. Daddy stayed with his cousin while he was there. Mom and dad hadn't even set a firm date because they weren't sure when dad would get home. So my mom organized a wedding in about 12 days - set the date, got her dress, the photographer, the flowers, the church, the cake all in that time. 12 days - amazing! Daddy got a new suit and mom said he looked very handsome in it. Their wedding rehearsal was on New Years Day in the afternoon!
On the day of the wedding, January 2, 1946, my dad was a little late to his own wedding. He and his cousin were driving to the church from a neighboring town. The roads were icy and nearly impassable. They had to creep along so they wouldn't slide in a ditch. He made it, they got married and spent the first night with mom's sister and husband. Her sister, Elsie and husband, Al, put crackers in mom and dad's bed the first night!!!
As far as I can remember , my parents saw each other only 3 times before they got married. That is how powerful letter writing was back then.
And from that love story came us three kids, a move to Oklahoma briefly, New Mexico even more briefly and then to Fowler, Kansas where they lived for 53 years. On their 50th wedding anniversary, they renewed their vows - and there wasn't a dry eye in the church.
Rest in peace mom and daddy - I miss you every day.
P.S. I just found a pricelss letter. My grandma F. in PA wrote to my OK grandma the day after mom and dad got married. Ok foks couldn't come because of the distance and dead of winter. Grandma F told my OK grandma a little about the wedding but wanted mom and dad to share most of it. Grandma F told OK grandma that they all loved Levi (my dad) and hoped that they would love June. Grandma F says that June is kind of timid but she thinks the OK family will love her as much as they love Levi. Oh My goodness, what a treasure! In the letter, Grandma F. of PA talked about how they got mom and dad together!
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