Promises to keep

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

- Robert Frost -


Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.  Pinky swear.  Swear on a stack of Bibles.  Swear on my mother's grave.

I have heard these types of promises for years from my students, and I get tickled knowing that they fully intend to keep that promise - until wham, something happens they didn't plan on and that poor promise is bashed into tiny pieces!  My students have called me on promises I made in a hurry, with the pouty face, and whining voice, "But Mrs. B., you promised!"  Trust me - they keep me on my toes and I think twice before I make a promise to them, cause they will REMEMBER forever!

 Promises may be world shaking, or it may be just a tiny bump in the road of life.  I've been thinking a lot about promises lately - having been on the receiving end of broken promises that nearly cut my heart in pieces.  I have also made promises that I have done my best to keep.

The first very important promise that popped into my head is the one when loving, dreamy eyed couples make promises to each other on their wedding day.  I love both the traditional promise ceremony, but I also really enjoy hearing promises/vows that the couple has written themselves.  I expect that during that first glow of wedded life with the person who is your soul mate, those promises made that wedding day are easy to keep. 

Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her/him, forsaking all others and holding only unto her/him?" ("I do")

The promise to love one another till death is made so easily in the early rosy glow of marriage, when most couples have no real idea of how that love will be tested over the years.  Honor him/her - respect your loved one, treat them with dignity, and make your life one that they can look upon with pride.  Cherish him/her - that promise is not necessarily to treat your spouse like a china figurine that could be broken in an instant, but to always stand by them because they are special to you.  Protect him/her - that promise might be a tad easier for the male species who deem it their nature to "protect" their wife (insert image of gorilla beating his chest).  Protection can be physical - keeping them from getting physically hurt, but it could be emotional such as being there to protect their loved one from being emotionally beaten up by family members, so called friends and even employers.  But I am here to tell you that you don't ever want to get in the way of a woman and someone that she promised to protect.  It makes a gorilla look like a lady bug.  When we promise to protect someone we love, that is it - no ifs, ands, or buts.

In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do us part.

I promised this during our wedding ceremony as did my husband.  Little did we know that a promise made that day would someday hit us head on - particularly the one about health.  Who knew that someday, my husband would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life (in sickness and in health); who knew that MANY, MANY times we would be scrounging for money to pay medical bills, or buy the kids some clothes or put food on the table, only to go through it all over again a few years down the road. (for richer, for poorer). And yet that most important promise made on their wedding day is one of the first to be broken.  Financial hardships come, spouse runs, breaks promise.  Sickness comes, spouse leaves and breaks promise.  Mental disability comes, people run as fast as they can, rather than honor that promise.   And in those instances, that promise is broken so badly, it can never, ever be repaired exactly like it was before.  Sometimes you can't fix what has already been broken so badly.

So what drives us to make such promises in the first place?  We can't see into the future (not sure I'd want to anyway).  So if we don't know what is coming, why in the world do we make such HUGE and broad promises that you have no earthly idea if you can keep? We all are sincere when we make a promise - either at a wedding to our spouse, or in our day to day life.  There are big promises and little bitty promises, to others, to friends, to family and to self.  And in spite of the fact that the odds are about 1,000,000 to one that we will keep every single promise we make, people keep right on making promises because that is what makes us human.  We don't want bad and hurtful things to happen to the people we love - so we make a promise.

I've heard it said that promises are meant to be broken.  Maybe, maybe not.  I think that a person who makes a promise does so with every sincere intention on following through with that promise.  Sometimes, life just flat gets in the way of fulfilling that promise.  I am sure that the promise that was made to me and broken was given with a sincere heart - but that didn't make it any less painful when that promise was beaten to a pulp!

To end, I will reveal the promise that has been broken so many times, it is sawdust!  I promise to love, honor and obey.  Whatever!  I have loved him, and I have honored him, but in no way, whatsoever did I say I would obey him.  Of course my loving spouse says that I did just that, and we have tossed that back and forth for 41 years causing both of us to be hysterical with laughter over and over!

Make your promises with love in your heart, do the best you can to keep those promises, but understand, some will be broken into pieces, some will be kept, and some will break a little and be repaired.  That is just how life is.

Song from George Strait:

Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start.
I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart.
From here on after let's stay the way we are right now,
And share all the love and laughter
That a lifetime will allow.

I cross my heart and promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete,
And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make yours just as sweet.
As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see,
So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be.

I cross my heart and promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

And if along the way we find a day it starts to storm,
You've got the promise of my love to keep you warm.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine,
A love as true as mine.
 Thanks George, couldn't have said it better!