I am a pretty forgiving person on the whole. If someone does something really bad against me or to me, I eventually forgive them. I probably won't ever forget, but I do forgive. But when you mess with someone I love - family or friends - I don't forgive. No matter how I rationalize it, or give myself lectures - the hate doesn't go away. Over and over I think - What if this hadn't happened? What if things could go back to that time and go another path? I replay the incident over and over in my mind, fueling my anger over and over. I know it isn't good for my physical or mental health, so I keep struggling with it daily, trying to overcome that hate and let go of it.
This got me to thinking - is hate ever right? Is hating someone, or something ever correct in any way? I do know that hate and dwelling on it can physically harm a person's body. It can make them sick, give them ulcers and affect the way they look at that person/incident for the rest of their life. BUT, are there times when hate is not only OK, it is a good thing?
So I'm listing the things I hate that seem to be within the realm of being OK to hate.
1. I hate the disease that is slowing robbing my granddaughter of her 16 year old life. I see her going down every day, a little, in different ways. I see the clouding of her brilliant mind at time where she cannot concentrate or her sentences are confused. I see her body blowing up until parts look like they could burst from all the medicine she is taking so her liver will continue to function a little. I hear her talk, heartbroken, about the kids who make fun of her, or shy away from her now because she "looks" different. And yet, she forgives them, and continues to live her life to the fullest. As the old saying goes, "Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in his shoes."
2. I hate child molesters. When I worked as an Assistant Juvenile Officer, part of what I did was prepare petitions for the court when we took a child away from their parents. I can remember sitting in front of the computer with tears in my eyes, my stomach churning and feeling like I was going to throw up - as I typed the hideous details of what parents did to their children. Right now my stomach is churning as I remember those poor, innocent children, damaged for the rest of their life. There is no hell bad enough for child molesters, and one level lower are the parents who molest their own children.
3. I hate war, particularly ones that seem to be going nowhere and accomplishing nothing. I realize that we fought for our freedom in the Revolutionary war. I can understand that - and am always grateful. I realize we had a civil war so there would be no more slaves. I understand that and applaud! Thanks to WWII, we are not all Nazis and we still have Jewish people on the earth. Hitler was evil and it was right for the nations to bring him down.
But for the US in its arrogance to invade countries, and expect the culture of 4,000 years to disappear and for them to be like we are is absolutely ludicrous. Those countries are not a country governed by a set of rules - they are governed by religion. The religion is their law- it has never been separated like it is in the US. For a culture that has been governed that way for 4,000 years, since Biblical times, they are not going to embrace a culture like the US. That isn't going to happen. So for me, that particular war is pointless, and my heart breaks for those families who lose loved ones that are fighting a war that we can't win.
Update 2018 - I thought when I originally wrote this that I would get some angry feedback. I had none. I still feel this way!
4. I hate poverty. It really hurts my soul when we send millions of dollars to other countries to help them, only to have the food or medicine or clothing or supplies grabbed by militants. We have thousands upon thousands of children starving in the US every day. I saw the statistics on poverty in the newspaper, and it estimated that 1 out of 4 children in the US goes hungry daily. That is unforgiveable! The first year I taught, I overheard two of my students talking about supper. One student replied that the only thing in his house was a can of tomato soup. Our district tries to find the chronically hungry kids and sends a backpack of non perishable food home with them on Friday, so they will have something to eat. During college, one of our required reading was about the inner city schools in New York. One new teacher was bewildered because at lunch, her students would stick chicken nuggets, etc. in their pockets. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore, and asked them why. Their reply was simple - that is for food for Saturday and Sunday. If we don't take them home, we have no food until Monday. Sad for a nation that has billionaires and millionaires who think the ultimate goal is to get more money.
So if hate is ever right, then hate the injustices that occur daily. Hate the people who hurt their children. Hate war - even if it is necessary. Hate poverty that gets worse while the rich get richer. Hate diseases that rob people of their life or make them struggle with that disease for the rest of their life. Hate bigots who cannot accept people with another skin color. Hate the fact that if you have lots of money, you can commit murder and not go to prison.
"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Thank you for those wise words, Mr. King.
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